From an early age it was clear I was culinarily-challenged.
As a teenager at boarding school in England I once smuggled in an illegal instrument for the purpose of home cooking in my dorm room. The contraption was a metal rod the length of a finger and attached to an electric cord. The idea was you stuck the metal part into a cup of water and then rammed the plug into a socket. Theoretically one could make a cup of tea this way, and I say theoretically because the drawback is you need to pay attention to when the water boils as that’s when you unplug and remove the device, drop in your English Breakfast, steep and sip.
Unfortunately, along with no kitchen skills, I also have no patience.
After I completed step one and two I left my room and wandered off to fill the time it would take for the water to boil.
Unsurprisingly, I instantly forgot about my project. The first I was reminded was when thick smoke billowed down the hallway and all the fire alarms were triggered.
Instead of tea I was in big f’n trouble.
This shortage of cooking skills continued into my married ‘lives’ where I tortured spouses with cruel renditions of meals. Food was wrecked, pans were destroyed.
Repeatedly husbands scrapped our vows on the grounds of rampant hunger. I would look up and see a tiny dot on the horizon, fleeing, and I would yell, “Honey! I would’ve helped you pack! I would’ve called you a cab!”
As a single lady my idea of a good dinner is ripping open a bag of peanuts, roasted, no salt.
…for more Christina Oxenberg follow the link to Amazon.com
Thank you Denise! Have a great weekend!
As usual, some good lines in there!! Like “Repeatedly husbands scrapped our vows on the grounds of rampant hunger.”